A letter to my Ex husband, who believes himself to be sex-positive, and would probably have called me sex negative.
You've told me that you want our son to be raised to be sex positive. I absolutely agree. However I am slightly confused as to what your definition of sex-positivity is.
-What is sex positive about regularly having sex with someone who is just not into it
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend constant feeling sexualised and objectified
-What is sex positive about telling your girlfriend that her nipples are responding to your fondaling, so it means that her body approves, despite her telling you "actually, not so much"
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend only having sex with you to get it over with, so you can focus on something else for a few days.
-What is sex positive about continuing to bring up your want to engage in something your girlfriend has said is off the table
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend regularly feeling like you just want sex when you kiss or hug her
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend feeling like she is walking a tightrope every time she kisses or touches you, trying to keep what she wants the encounter to be in balance, and not give you "the wrong impression"
-What is sex positive about cheating once a year because you just needed to feel wanted sexually, needed to have a woman be desperate and begging for you, whilst your girlfriend is always refusing you because she feels completely replaceable with a doll.
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend feeling like you are that annoying mosquito that just won't leave her alone.
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend just lying there, letting you do things to her, whilst her mind is off somewhere else
-What is sex positive about obligation sex
-What is sex positive about your girlfriend feeling sexually harassed in her own home
-What is sex positive about not respecting your girlfriends request to just let her finish whatever task it is she is doing in peace
-What is sex positive about 'gong crazy' if you don't get sex regularly enough
-What is sex positive about masturbating 3 or more times a day, but only admitting to one
-What is sex positive about rating every woman that passes through your life as hot or cute or not
-What is sex positive about liking girls who dress like prostituted women
-What is sex positive about flirting with everyone when you have a girlfriend
-What is sex positive about thinking that it's cool for girls to talk dirty with men other than their own boyfriends / husbands (including men who are in committed relationships)
-What is sex positive about talking dirty with other women
-What is sex positive about laughing at and liking sexist, misogynistic or just plain vulgar jokes or shows
-What is sex positive about being proud to learn that you used to come with a warning- that others would warn girls you had your eye on that you were just looking for 'fun'
That not sex positivity.
It is, being controlled by your sex drive
Sexualisation and objectification
And just generally being a prat.
Hi I'm Nicole