Looking for a way to shut down that unsolicited and bad, parenting advice?
Remember Jerry McGuire? “Show me the money!!”
The next time someone questions your parenting choices, or gives you unsolicited advice, I want you to try something.
Channel your inner Jerry, look them dead in the eye and say “show me the evidence”.
Then you might want to clarify what evidence means.
It does not mean cultural beliefs, old wives tales, or a friend of a friends’ cousin had it happen. It doesn’t even mean “in my own practice I see”, “If you were my wife/it were my baby I would” “it’s hospital policy to” or “research (that I commissioned/ that was funded by Nestle) shows”
Real evidence meets at least one of the following criteria:
Some examples of good research
Smacking: 50 years worth of research including brain scans showing the differences in brain growth between children who were smacked and those who were not, as well as multiple European countries that have banned smacking decades ago with no rise in crime rates etc.
Bed sharing: Leading experts from renowned Universities in 3 countries (albeit all WEIRD countries) with thousands of hours of clinical observations including heart rate monitoring, sleep phase monitoring, and video showing that bed sharing can be done safely, and that mother-baby dyads synchronize their sleep-wake cycles. Backed up by anthropological data proving bedsharing to be the biological norm for 99% of human history, and still the norm in over 60% of the world. Also supported by parent questionnaire research which shows that approximately 50% of US parents have bedshare at least on occasion.
Conversely the data on bedsharing deaths is not consistent as every county and country record deaths differently, and very little of the research looking at death rates separates out safe practice from unsafe practice, eg. couch sharing.
some examples of bad advice
Hi I'm Nicole