Being an adult would be easy if life were black and white.
Because yes "adulting is hard" but it's not hard because you have to iron your own clothes or pay the bills.
It's hard because you have to try to find authenticity and truth in a world full of myth.
Most people probably think that the idea of having a baby on a boat, sailing the world sounds like insanity, but I'm starting to think it could be an attachment parent's dream.
I was featured as a guest writer on Evolutionary Parenting today. Happy dance!
You can read my article "To end the judgement we first need to go through it" here.
If there is one thing that having anxiety and depression can teach you, it is that our society is absolutely obsessed with putting all our faith in emotions. We literally let them run, and ruin our lives.
And our culture constantly lies about their importance and affect.
Lets face it, kids are expensive. But here's a little secret the marketing department at Fisher Price don't want you to know; most baby stuff is completly unnecessary. Even those things that are so imbedded into our collective subconcious that just the word baby make you think of them.
There are however a few parenting philosophies that can save you an awful lot of money, as well as being just generally awesome.
This week, three more women and two children have been killed by those who were supposed to love them, Fathers, Boyfriends, Uncles. We cannot point the finger at some “other” and blame them and their “other” culture for this atrocity. This is our doing. This is our culture that has culminated in the massive increase in domestic, family and sexual violence that this year has brought. 62 women in 37 weeks. There is no count for the children. At least one man stands in that tally as well.
It's time to call it what it is, terrorism.
So I'm sure you have heard the news.
Target USA are removing gendered signage from their toy and bedding department, and the world is about to collapse into all out chaos. Or something like that. Apparently lots of people are pretty terrified by this change.
Which, btw has absolutely nothing to do with gay rights, or a gay agenda. It is also not, political correctness gone mad. I have been following this issue for about 6 years now. Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, who have been a big influence in people's questioning of gender limitations, was one of the first blogs I started following. It's founder, often talks about how "once you see it (the gendered marketing of childhood) you can't unsee it"
So after reading some, quite frankly hysterical, posts attacking Target over the last few days, I wondered if there was a way to rip people's blinder's off, so they can see the real issue, instead of the issues they wrongly assume this is about. Other people understand the true cause of the change, but don't get why it is necessary or important. You know all those "there are real issues in the world" commenters. (news flash: people can care about more than 1 thing at a time) Unfortunately, I don't have the resources to set up one of those social experiment videos, and my photoshop skills are non-existent. So the best I can do is try to explain in writing.
So this is what the adult world would be like if all stores and all departements mimicked the old system at target.
We have been so conditioned to believe that it is our fault, our bodies that failed, that we don't even consider the fact that breastfeeding is a two way relationship.
Both the mother and the baby have certain factors that must be present in order to succeed.
Yet our language, our cultural beliefs ignore this.
How often do you hear a woman say "We tried to breastfeed but my baby just couldn't."
We tried to breastfeed, but my baby failed.
You don't. People don't say that.
Yet in a lot of cases it would actually be far more accurate than saying that the mother failed, because the issue isn't a supply issue at all it's a transference issue.
But we don't even have a decent way of testing which side of the dyad has underlying problems, so our society, so used to blaming women for everything, blames the woman. Our women, so conditioned to blame themselves for everything, blame themselves.
When are women on a whole going to wake up to the fact that their bodies didn't let them down, the system let them down?!
If you ever find yourself saying things like "each to their own" or "it's the parents decision" or "who are you to tell me how to raise my child" or "you raise your kids and i'll raise mine", this article is for you.
I am hopeful that this article will make you rethink these comments:
Privilege and oppression come in many forms
You know the drill, show support for Nursing In Public and someone always says, "be discreet, it's not that hard." Or perhaps "it's fine if you do it discreetly but all those mums who just flop their boobs out are annoying/attention seeking."
Maybe the even go as far as to say this...
Hi I'm Nicole