June 2020. America is currently teetering on the edge. It’s not hyperbole to suggest that it could disintegrate into civil war. It’s day 9 of mass protests, and the national guard, FBI and riot police are all out in force. The race riots of the 60’s look like a warm up compared to protests across all 50 states, as well as many countries overseas. Here in Australia many of us are reckoning with our own wake up calls to the ongoing police brutality and persecution of Indigenous Australians.
The sheer scale of the outcry to George Floyd’s murder at the hands of police has sparked awareness of the need to speak up in many places, both likely and unlikely. Over at The Beyond Sleep Training Project, they’re one of many parenting pages sharing content related to anti-racism, white privilege, and the need to speak up. Predictably there’s been a few comments from people claiming that sharing such content isn’t relevant to the page. (Newsflash, what’s relevant to any page is what the page creators feel is relevant.) But here’s the thing, TBSTP isn’t just any parenting page; it’s an anti-sleep-training page. Why is that relevant? Because Sleep Training is a tool for racism.
(Cue outrage and denial)
Still with me? Here’s 4 ways Sleep Training is racist.
Whilst sleep training is the dominant paradigm in western parenting, and has been for quite some time. It is historically and culturally, an anomaly. A blip on the radar of human existence.
For good reason, since it goes against the biological norms of our species.
If you have ever wondered how we got here, how sleep training came to be "required" to be seen as a "good parent", read on:
“Day Care is so good for the kids who can go! They become more independent, they become more imaginative in their play, they dance, and sing and do craft, and it improves their social and emotional development, plus school readiness. My 1.5 year old is doing one letter a week at daycare”
Are you a SAHM feeling the pressure to put your child in day care even though you don’t have to?
Here are 6 reasons why daycare is not what your kids need.
If there was a way that you could raise your child that would almost guarantee that they were safe from exploitation and sexual abuse, would you be signing up right now?
I doubt there are many parents out there who would answer no.
And yet the vast majority of parents are Authoritarian, a parenting approach that I am about to argue puts kids at a far higher risk of being abused than they need to be.
Peaceful Parenting (also known as Respectful Parenting) however can minimise the risk.
Here’s the thing about PND, we don’t really know what does cause it. But we do know what the risk factors are, lack of sleep is indeed one of them, as are stress and feelings of failure - so why are we advising mothers with PND or mothers already at risk of PND to engage in practices that will most likely increase their stress levels and interfere with their sleep even more?
We first have to recognise it.
We have to name it.
We have to actively teach our children to fight it, to see it.
Only we aren't doing that.
Do you know the history of what is now called “sleep training” or “Cry it out?”
Because I do, and I’m going to let you in on a secret that all those “baby sleep experts”, doctors and child health nurses don’t want you to know.
It has absolutely no scientific basis.
There is no need for sleep training, there’s no proof that it is needed and there never was, because it was literally just made up.
Something happens with baby sleep in the second year. It all goes to shit, and your baby either just can't get to sleep, or wakes up in the middle of the night for a play.
Here's what I learnt from living through it, and how I learnt to cope.
I was featured as a guest writer on Evolutionary Parenting today. Happy dance!
You can read my article "To end the judgement we first need to go through it" here.
Every newbie asks it. "Why are wraps and carriers so expensive"?
In good babywearing groups, you'll get an actual answer. In bitchy groups, you'll get told "No questions about pricing" or "free market capitalisim" and possibly get deleted if you push for an actual answer. (Sorry Americans but groups that have a high percentage of US citizens tend to fall into the later)
So why are all the baby carriers so expensive?
Hi I'm Nicole